Stop. Just stop.
The still quiet voice was rumbling now, like a freight train shaking the foundations of my being.
Trying to get my attention.
Keeping me awake at night.
Feeding me food that I wasn’t hungry for.
Making me forget things, trip over things, walk into things.
Fly into a rage.
So today, body trembling with fear, eyes swollen with tears, I stopped.
I just stopped.
You’ve been through hell this year, the voice said.
And last year too.
Life as you’ve known it for so many years shaken, broken, pulled out from under you.
Never taking a moment to allow the full weight of any of it to land, to be fully seen, felt, transformed.
As much as there is part of you that cannot be destroyed,
This being, the one that eats, sleeps, walks around and all of those things, deserves the same gentleness and care that you extend so generously to those around you.
And self care will bring you the same joy if you let it, but you have to let it.
You, too, are worthy and in need.
All of the love and care in the world from those around you
Needs to be matched by your own.
You need to make time just for you
To breathe, to play, to rest, to feel.
You are worthy.
Worthy of your own gentle loving caring attention.
Worthy of being. Just being.